Weird Word War

One word that never sounds right spoken aloud is "psychotherapist." For some reason I always hear an implicit pause between the "psycho" and the "therapist." And there's a very important difference between a psychotherapist and a psycho therapist. One will fix my brain; the other will put an ice pick through it.

Two Jokes I Said Verbatim On Stage

I'm feeling a bit insecure these days because I had to do a quick shave for a show and now I have really bad razor buumps. I went on the interwebs to see if there are any home remedies and I come across this article that says that razor bumps are a major problem that affects African-American males. See, I thought that was interesting because I thought a major problem affecting black men was racism, but apparently not.

I dunno, I just don't believe you can call razor bumps a major racial problem. There's no such thing as a "race problem" that can be solved with witch hazel.
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I'm not a "drug person" at all. My friend keeps pushing me to try acid. I've only had one bad acid trip in my life, but that was because I slipped on some orange juice and fell on my face (geddit? see cuz orange juice has ascorbic acid and...well fuck you guys...)