Monday, May 21, 2007

Silver Lining (ME Performing @ Pete's Candy Store)

So the loss of EVL was a painful minus. BUT, I will be onstage at Pete's Candy Store this Monday. It is hosted by the lovely Jen Dziura and feature some stellar acts.

Monday Evening Stand-Up at Pete's
Monday, May 21st
Pete's Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St. in Williamsburg
(L train to Lorimer, or see for directions)
Free candy, no cover
Featuring Ray DeVito, Calvin Cato, Cody Hess, Will Hines, and Geoff Jackson.

Don't be 'illin; come to the Burg and start chillin'.

What what?!

Friday, May 11, 2007

End Of An Era?

NOTE: Time on blog should be 05/21/2007

Well, it seems like it's both the pit and the pendulum for the "Hey You're Cute!" Comedy Show. I just got word from the powers-that-be about the venue closing down for an indefinite period. So, there is no more me hosting the show at the East Village Lounge.

Usually this is the point where I get all psycho and start writing a run-on sentence typo-ridden rant about how the place was awesome and why was it closed and damn the world arghhhggghhh!!!!!1111one

I can't though, because it really wasn't anybody's fault. It's been a really fun run and I've gotten to work with some great comedians and honest people. Considering it was my first time running a joint, I'm pleased it didn't go terribly. Sure it was hard work and sure there were some damn annoying clients, but the place was like my second home. And it's going to suck being back out on the streets, dropping $10+ to go to unsupportive rooms where other hosts won't even listen to your set. (There are actually quite a few really sweet rooms--the bitterness leaked out a little there)

Seriously, the show may have it's off-nights but overall the "Hey You're Cute" show was an experience. The place was something really unique--it wasn't a cattle call of comics, it wasn't a bitter AA meeting, it was a place where people could be expressive and try shit out and network.

I'm looking for a new place so I'll keep you posted! Don't worry; the show will return anon.

And to all the comics I met, be you people who've been in the game for years or people who did their first set in the room, I wish you all the best. It truly has been a pleasure!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Celebrities Should Be Treated Like Normies

I promised I would never have to bring this chick's name into anything I write. But I am so tired of seeing her in every free paper I pick up. What happened? you ask. Let's just say a certain heiress (we'll call her Versailles Tower) is facing some jail time and is now whining about her "unfair" treatment. Apparently, it shouldn't be a crime to drive around drunk and breaking the speed limit on a suspended license. Wah wah wah, suck it Tower.

Now there are petitions floating around to free Versailles becasue she's being persecuted. Ummm...what? This woman violated THREE conditions of her probation and openly flouts the laws in this country. I'm not a hardcore patriot but I know when and where to drink, and it's not in my car! I'm pretty sure the Constitution doesn't have an amendment saying "If you're a rich, spoiled, drugged out white hobag, you can do anything!" Or maybe that law was under the "Bill of That's Hot," a piece of Americana I missed because I don't own a pretty pink American History textbook with a teacup dog on the front cover. Are you kidding me? Can I start a petition to demand her skank-ho ass be locked up in a maximum security jail, like Riker's with a touch of Oz? At least there, people will be thrilled abot her not wearing underwear.

And why is this news?!! Isn't there, like, a WAR or something going on? Don't we have to worry about housing shortages, the rise of homelessness, problems with minimum wage? WTF, America?

Seriously if there is a God, Allah, Buddha, Shiva, Zeus, any sort of deity, please don't let this herpesaurus rex wander around free. Lock her up in a pen, for good.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Worst Of The Worst Comics: A Review

It's the new trend that breaking the internet in half: The Worst of the Worst Comics List. For those of you not in the know, every week an Illuminati of comics tally up write-in votes and decide who the worst comics in New York City are. There is a top 5 listing (although there are ties for 5th place making it more like a top 7-10). I figured such a list would be made; with so many comedians in the city and so much talent of questionable value, it was only a matter of time before people starting writing about who is the most ear-gougingly bad person to ever grace the stage. However, I find myself asking "What's the point?"

There are a couple of theories floating around as to why such a service is necessary:

(1) Because we're sick of seeing bad comics take the stage:
Fair, but then what? Is the comedy world going to whittle itself down to 5 super-hot comics? I don't think so. Moreover, how does this help bad comics become better? I thought the point of open mikes was to help people work on their stuff. I think it's a bit cowardly if you can't private take someone aside and tell him/her "I don't think this business is right for you" but you can write "So-and-so sucks my ball hair!" to a website. Frankly, if you are tired of seeing bad comics at open mikes, don't go to those open mikes, or get yourself booked at places, or run your own mike and make it exclusive.

(2) So the bad comics know they're bad:
Okay, except the judges freely admit that there are bad comics who hae already been passed at other clubs, so what the hell will they care? Bad comics aren't changing their act for anybody, and the site simply adds to their notoriety. As for open mikers, of course they're going to be bad--they're OPEN MIKERS! To be fair many of the names I saw on the list were familiar to me; but also, there were names I've never even heard of. If you are going to pull something like this, have better standards (i.e. only choose comics who have been out for 2 years, comics that don't do bringers, etc.) And even still there are comics who may have hit a sophomore slump; voting them up is like beating a dead horse.

(3) For the perverse sense of enjoyment:
I'm not going to lie: I do check the list. Religiously. And I giggle whe I see some of the names on there. But this kind of forum makes the already hostile environment of comedy and show business even more unbearable. It's one thing to know you are competing against 100s of comics for an unpaid 5-minute check spot; it's far worse to have to endure the pressure AND worry about having your failed career put on blast in some anonymous website with a lack for accountability. Seriously isn't the entertainment world enough like Mean Girls and do we really need an internet version of a Burn Book?

Again, I'm not questioning whether or not the list should exist. There are discerning critics; there are bad comics--put it together and you have a MySpace site. While I question the voting criteria, I'm not going to make picketing signs calling for the organizers' heads. But I do want to know why, fundamentally speaking, the list exists. So here's my theory. Clearly the voters are all people who still go to open mikes regualrly enough to gripe about the shitty talents. Which means these people aren't getting paid work. Thus, the only reason why this site exists is to feed the egos of people who think they should be doing better than they actually are. And that's fucked up.

Yes, I include myself in the "people who think they should be doing better" list because I am checking the site a lot. Therefore, I am also "fucked up." I'm not saying I'm any better than the people who actually vote (I even sent in an e-mail saying I wholly agreed with one of their choices). But, it is disappointing to see how petty and catty comedy has become where I now feel like I'm in a gladiator-style combat with other comics. And it's also disappointing to see comics giving themsleves a false sense of superiority because there is now a clearly defined bottom. Let me spell it out for you yuk-yukkers: If you are not getting paid work, you are still on the bottom! If you still have a day job, you are on the bottom! No arbitary list will change that!

Comics, for your own sakes, stop hating! Work on your own act, and if you see a lousy comic, put more effort into your own set than into cracking jokes about him/her. Be your own worst critic, not someone else's.

PS Here's the link (b/c I'm also giving them a little press: