Big Boss: Well it was wonderful meeting you. I’ll be going back to the home office tomorrow morning.
Me: Oh, well it was great meeting you too.
Big Boss: I realize we didn’t get to talk much one-on-one but I should be back in a few months and we can talk more personally then.
Me: Well…uh…thanks for shaking my hand.
Big Boss: [pause] Okay, cheers then. [Leaves]
Me: [headdesk]
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Let Them Eat Cake? No Thank You!
As we all know and heard, the government gave $170 billion in taxpayer money to AIG (American International Group). And even thought the company reported a loss of $61 billion, they somehow are managing to pay executives $165 million in bonuses (I guess for setting a record or something). Needless to say, the not-royal we were not amused. And our government’s big response boils down to: “You should feel ashamed of yourselves.” Seriously? You fail, government.
What is with the 21st century turning everyone into pussies? I remember back in the day, whenever there were too many rich people blatantly stealing from the poor there would be a revolution – complete with guillotine, anarchy and a short guy in charge. Or warriors from up north or far east would start marauding and pillaging, storming castles and sending a hail of fiery arrows down on helpless defenders. Back in the times when European monarchies mattered, if the ruling body was displeased, entire bloodlines were eliminated. But now, the government can basically hand over a blank check to corrupt gout-sufferers who proceed to spend the money on themselves and the best response is a whiny “Give it back!” I didn’t realize that Congress is now that 5-year-old trying to grab his Wolverine toy back from his too-tall big brother who’s holding it hostage at arms length.
Why can’t we, oh I don’t know, give the taxpayer money back to the taxpayers?! I paid my bills on time, don’t use limos to get to work, and I’ve managed not to screw over families and other people’s futures. All I got back was $200 from Uncle Sam. That can’t even support a Wall Street stockbroker’s cocaine habit for the day. What. The. Fuck.
If you’re pissed, don’t just write a scathing editorial. These execs obviously don’t feel ashamed, not when they can bounce to some island and hire prostitutes to boost their egos. This shame based society bullshit isn’t working anymore. Let’s all go to Home Depot, buy some pitchforks and tiki torches and do this thang old-school (or medieval-school, whatever). Although, we’d probably have to use Google to find out where these people live, but still. Old-school!
What is with the 21st century turning everyone into pussies? I remember back in the day, whenever there were too many rich people blatantly stealing from the poor there would be a revolution – complete with guillotine, anarchy and a short guy in charge. Or warriors from up north or far east would start marauding and pillaging, storming castles and sending a hail of fiery arrows down on helpless defenders. Back in the times when European monarchies mattered, if the ruling body was displeased, entire bloodlines were eliminated. But now, the government can basically hand over a blank check to corrupt gout-sufferers who proceed to spend the money on themselves and the best response is a whiny “Give it back!” I didn’t realize that Congress is now that 5-year-old trying to grab his Wolverine toy back from his too-tall big brother who’s holding it hostage at arms length.
Why can’t we, oh I don’t know, give the taxpayer money back to the taxpayers?! I paid my bills on time, don’t use limos to get to work, and I’ve managed not to screw over families and other people’s futures. All I got back was $200 from Uncle Sam. That can’t even support a Wall Street stockbroker’s cocaine habit for the day. What. The. Fuck.
If you’re pissed, don’t just write a scathing editorial. These execs obviously don’t feel ashamed, not when they can bounce to some island and hire prostitutes to boost their egos. This shame based society bullshit isn’t working anymore. Let’s all go to Home Depot, buy some pitchforks and tiki torches and do this thang old-school (or medieval-school, whatever). Although, we’d probably have to use Google to find out where these people live, but still. Old-school!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
March 27th Show @ Comix (Ochi's Lounge)
Thanks to eveyrone who came to the first show! This next show is looking fantastic with more music and grass skirts than you can shake a stick at. Details below: hope to see you next Friday!
DATE: March 27th 2009 (Friday)
LOCATION: Comix (Ochi’s Lounge downstairs) – 353 West 14th Street east of 9th Ave
TIME: 7:00 PM - 8:30 PM
COST: No cover, 1-item minimum
Auld Lang Syne has come and gone, but the entertainment keeps on rolling! Calvin S. Cato (Game Show Network, Stand-Up New York, Naked Comedy Show) presents a comedy/music variety show with wonderful recruiters and raconteurs who’ll regale you with jokes, songs and humorous job tips! Oh and did we mention that everyone who comes to the show gets a free resume? So if you're unemployed, underemployed, or looking to hire someone who knows Microsoft Office, come by and check out the only show that has 100% talent, 0% health insurance.
Comedy By:
Sean Crespo (Comedy Central's Root Of All Evil, Comix’s Drink At Work Show, Television Without Pity)
Liz Miele (Live At Gotham, featured in the New Yorker)
Del (BET's My Two Cents, Caroline's on Broadway, Comedy For The F&%* Of It)
Scout Durwood (MTV’s A Shot At Love, Miss America pageant contestant!)
Chris Conway (Comix’s Roots)
Music Interlude by:
Joe Yoga (artist-in-residence at Under St. Marks Theater)
Special Music Performance by:
Sonic Uke (Midnight Ukelele Disco, New York Ukelele Cabinet, and they’re New Zealanders)
http://www.comixny.com/ochislounge.aspx#poor
DATE: March 27th 2009 (Friday)
LOCATION: Comix (Ochi’s Lounge downstairs) – 353 West 14th Street east of 9th Ave
TIME: 7:00 PM - 8:30 PM
COST: No cover, 1-item minimum
Auld Lang Syne has come and gone, but the entertainment keeps on rolling! Calvin S. Cato (Game Show Network, Stand-Up New York, Naked Comedy Show) presents a comedy/music variety show with wonderful recruiters and raconteurs who’ll regale you with jokes, songs and humorous job tips! Oh and did we mention that everyone who comes to the show gets a free resume? So if you're unemployed, underemployed, or looking to hire someone who knows Microsoft Office, come by and check out the only show that has 100% talent, 0% health insurance.
Comedy By:
Sean Crespo (Comedy Central's Root Of All Evil, Comix’s Drink At Work Show, Television Without Pity)
Liz Miele (Live At Gotham, featured in the New Yorker)
Del (BET's My Two Cents, Caroline's on Broadway, Comedy For The F&%* Of It)
Scout Durwood (MTV’s A Shot At Love, Miss America pageant contestant!)
Chris Conway (Comix’s Roots)
Music Interlude by:
Joe Yoga (artist-in-residence at Under St. Marks Theater)
Special Music Performance by:
Sonic Uke (Midnight Ukelele Disco, New York Ukelele Cabinet, and they’re New Zealanders)
http://www.comixny.com/ochislounge.aspx#poor
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Interview With Bad Slava
Interview Update: Here is a better link to the interview: Interview With Calvin Cato.
Also, I just want to let you guys know that I’ll perform anywhere: bars, restaurants, basements, hell even Jeffrey Dahmer’s house. Sure, the place is musty but at least he has a captive audience.
Speaking of basements, catch me tonight: March 12th at 8:00 PM at Tagine Dining gallery for Nouveau Poor. Address: 537 9th Avenue (just south of West 40th Street). All the info and the press paragraph is below (no I didn’t change it, though I should have been more creative). Check it out if you’re nearby!
Auld Lang Syne has come and gone, but the entertainment keeps on rolling! Calvin S. Cato (Game Show Network, Stand-Up New York, Naked Comedy Show) presents a comedy/music variety show with wonderful recruiters and raconteurs who’ll regale you with jokes, songs and humorous job tips! Oh and did we mention that everyone who comes to the show gets a free resume? So if you're unemployed, underemployed, or looking to hire someone who knows Microsoft Office, come by and check out the only show that has 100% talent, 0% health insurance.
Comedy By:
Matt Nagin (Comix's Intermission, Under St. Marks Theatre)
Mo Diggs (writer for The Apiary and Dead Frog)
Chris Laker (Comedy2go)
Adam Lash (Caroline's, Comix's So You Think You're Funny)
Brendan Fitzgibbons (New York Underground Comedy favorite)
Also, I just want to let you guys know that I’ll perform anywhere: bars, restaurants, basements, hell even Jeffrey Dahmer’s house. Sure, the place is musty but at least he has a captive audience.
Speaking of basements, catch me tonight: March 12th at 8:00 PM at Tagine Dining gallery for Nouveau Poor. Address: 537 9th Avenue (just south of West 40th Street). All the info and the press paragraph is below (no I didn’t change it, though I should have been more creative). Check it out if you’re nearby!
Auld Lang Syne has come and gone, but the entertainment keeps on rolling! Calvin S. Cato (Game Show Network, Stand-Up New York, Naked Comedy Show) presents a comedy/music variety show with wonderful recruiters and raconteurs who’ll regale you with jokes, songs and humorous job tips! Oh and did we mention that everyone who comes to the show gets a free resume? So if you're unemployed, underemployed, or looking to hire someone who knows Microsoft Office, come by and check out the only show that has 100% talent, 0% health insurance.
Comedy By:
Matt Nagin (Comix's Intermission, Under St. Marks Theatre)
Mo Diggs (writer for The Apiary and Dead Frog)
Chris Laker (Comedy2go)
Adam Lash (Caroline's, Comix's So You Think You're Funny)
Brendan Fitzgibbons (New York Underground Comedy favorite)
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Nouveau Shows Coming Up
First of all, thanks to everyone who came out to see the show at Comix! It was standing room only packed! The next show is March 27th and there will be a ton of emails about the whole thing, but for now, here are some shows I'm doing for next week. I'm all over Twitter now so check that too for details.
President Jackson Show
Monday March 9th: 9:00 PM - 10:10 PM
Produced by Joe Dixon and hosted by Calvin Cato, this show has nothing to do with a white president and is run by two black guys who wear argyle. Did your irony meter explode, because it should have! We feature comedians with credits, without credits, with drinking problems, whatever. Seriously, it's a fun show and there are 2-for-1 drinks. Check this out!
Tickets: Free
Pinetree Lodge - 326 East 35th Street (between 1st and 2nd Av)
-------
Nouveau Poor
Thursday March 12th: 8:00 PM – 9:30 PM
Tagine Dining Gallery
Calvin S. Cato presents a wonderful blend of comedy and music in a cool Moroccan venue. We have comedians who've been featured on MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, and top comedy clubs in the city as well as musicians who've played at the top indie venues in New York City. Plus, there's belly dancing and hookah afterwards! Check out the only show that's like Casablanca in Technicolor.
Tickets: Free
Tagine Dining Gallery - 537 9th Avenue (just south of West 40th Street)
President Jackson Show
Monday March 9th: 9:00 PM - 10:10 PM
Produced by Joe Dixon and hosted by Calvin Cato, this show has nothing to do with a white president and is run by two black guys who wear argyle. Did your irony meter explode, because it should have! We feature comedians with credits, without credits, with drinking problems, whatever. Seriously, it's a fun show and there are 2-for-1 drinks. Check this out!
Tickets: Free
Pinetree Lodge - 326 East 35th Street (between 1st and 2nd Av)
-------
Nouveau Poor
Thursday March 12th: 8:00 PM – 9:30 PM
Tagine Dining Gallery
Calvin S. Cato presents a wonderful blend of comedy and music in a cool Moroccan venue. We have comedians who've been featured on MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, and top comedy clubs in the city as well as musicians who've played at the top indie venues in New York City. Plus, there's belly dancing and hookah afterwards! Check out the only show that's like Casablanca in Technicolor.
Tickets: Free
Tagine Dining Gallery - 537 9th Avenue (just south of West 40th Street)
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