Let Them Eat Cake? No Thank You!

As we all know and heard, the government gave $170 billion in taxpayer money to AIG (American International Group). And even thought the company reported a loss of $61 billion, they somehow are managing to pay executives $165 million in bonuses (I guess for setting a record or something). Needless to say, the not-royal we were not amused. And our government’s big response boils down to: “You should feel ashamed of yourselves.” Seriously? You fail, government.

What is with the 21st century turning everyone into pussies? I remember back in the day, whenever there were too many rich people blatantly stealing from the poor there would be a revolution – complete with guillotine, anarchy and a short guy in charge. Or warriors from up north or far east would start marauding and pillaging, storming castles and sending a hail of fiery arrows down on helpless defenders. Back in the times when European monarchies mattered, if the ruling body was displeased, entire bloodlines were eliminated. But now, the government can basically hand over a blank check to corrupt gout-sufferers who proceed to spend the money on themselves and the best response is a whiny “Give it back!” I didn’t realize that Congress is now that 5-year-old trying to grab his Wolverine toy back from his too-tall big brother who’s holding it hostage at arms length.

Why can’t we, oh I don’t know, give the taxpayer money back to the taxpayers?! I paid my bills on time, don’t use limos to get to work, and I’ve managed not to screw over families and other people’s futures. All I got back was $200 from Uncle Sam. That can’t even support a Wall Street stockbroker’s cocaine habit for the day. What. The. Fuck.

If you’re pissed, don’t just write a scathing editorial. These execs obviously don’t feel ashamed, not when they can bounce to some island and hire prostitutes to boost their egos. This shame based society bullshit isn’t working anymore. Let’s all go to Home Depot, buy some pitchforks and tiki torches and do this thang old-school (or medieval-school, whatever). Although, we’d probably have to use Google to find out where these people live, but still. Old-school!