Tuesday, December 09, 2008

No, Not Amy Winehouse

I was on a crowded train looking over a passenger's shoulder at his AM New York when I saw the headline "Kiss and Sell" about Amy Winehouse. Normally, I would have dejectedly rolled my eyes, but the actual article was about how her husband (Blake McEnglishman or whatever) was going to write a tell-all book about Amy's life if she didn't fork over $1.5 million. And I was thinking "Really?" Is there even more to the story?

I mean, what don't I know about her that TMZ, Star, and the rest of the gossip columns haven't told me? I know she drinks a lot, misses concerts, loves cigarettes, smokes crack, does heroin, snorts cocaine, has five teeth left, gets violent when she's on stuff (which is all the time), says randomly racist things, elected not to go to rehab on several occasions, has permanent lung damage from her partying lifestyle and has a tattoo of a naked woman. At this point, his book would be a tell-more, and even then he's out of ammo. The only thing he could say that would shock me is if he wrote about snatching off Winehouse's beehive and finding out she's actually a man. And even then I wouldn't be too shocked; it looked like she was sporting a bulge at the Grammys.

No comments: