Oh...So...Awkward

One of my most favorite English phrases is “Don’t be That Guy.” And whenever I say it, I usually get asked “Who?” Well, That Guy (or alternatively That Girl or That Chick) is the lone person who manages to commit the biggest faux pas at any event or gathering.

Exempli gratia: you are at a house party and everything is winding out. People are slowing trickling out, people are relaxing on couches. Then, the host’s ex-girlfriend shows up, yelling and crying. She awkwardly wambles over to the stereo and knocks over some irreplaceable vase. Everyone groans in disgust, averts their eyes, and gets up to look for their stuff so they can leave. The ex-girlfriend is “That Chick.”

Or...there’s a guy at your favorite concert standing in front of you wearing the band T-shirt with a Mohawk so tall you can’t see past it. He’s yelling along with the band (though he thinks he’s singing in key) and now you can’t see or hear the band. This asshole would be That Guy.

Or you’re watching The Dark Knight Returns. And at that critical battle between Batman and the Joker, some woman’s cell phone goes off. Even though she shuts it off and yells “I’m so sorry!” she is totally, utterly, completely “That Girl.”

Sometimes, there doesn’t need to be a large gathering. There are times when even though I’m by myself, I know I’m That Guy. I’ve eaten a day-old sandwich wrapped in tinfoil sitting on my desk. That is something that That Guy would do. And moreover, me admitting to it my blog really REALLY makes me That Guy.

The universal thing to keep in mind is that That Guy/Chick is the one person you would NEVER want to be. Ever. Because That Guy is an Awkward Bomb. And no one wants to catch embarrassment; that stuff is worse than herpes. And you can’t treat awkward with a cream.

I hope this moment has been more informative than Urban Dictionary (which has some of the strangest and obscure terms I’ve ever seen...really?...but anyway). Remember kids: be safe, be cool, and don’t be That Guy. The More You Know!