I hate it when I get too drunk at a party, because then I wake up the next morning with a Hangover Dilemma. That's the problem where you have to crawl to the bathroom and figure out how you're going to pee and puke in the toilet at the same time.
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I once did temp work at a place where my co-workers were having an argument about the best way to beat their kids. One co-worker said she liked using a newspaper because that doesn't leave a mark. She then asked me about how I'd beat my kids. I said "I don't know; the only time my my mom ever beat me was at Scrabble." To this day, I can't look at seven-letter words the same way.
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My friend posed a hypothetical question to me: "If you were a crackhead, would you rather suck dick for crack or have anal sex for crack?" Isn't that a stupid question? I mean, if I were a crackhead, I would rather have crack. I don't think I'd really be making a value judgment on what I'd do for a substance I'm addicted to.
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In the news, there was a story about a guy who was arrested for raping an innocent woman. In order to take suspicion off of himself, the guy decides to murder the woman. How did he make that leap in logic?! That would be like me cheating on my taxes and then, as soon as I get audited, throwing off suspicion by robbing Fort Knox.
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