Okay, so I was sitting in my room, watching Family Guy with no pants on and I heard the door open in the hallway. And then I hear footsteps come towards my door. And I get all freaked out so I yell "Ah! I'm not wearing pants." And my roommate says "I wasn't even going into your room." Now I think she thinks I'm masturbating. Which is gross! Dude, a man needs to have the right to not wear pants and watch television without being paranoid. Bachelors who live in studios are lucky. Dude, they could just live however they want. Fucking not shower for a couple days.
That's just sad that that's my dream life. Sitting on a couch with no pants eating quesadillas and a bowl of cereal and a bowl of carrots and raisins. I'm eating a crazy ridiculous meal. It's like "How many items from the food pyramid can I cram into one dinner?"
Anyway, dear roomie, I like tighty whities and I will continue to wear them, behind closed doors. But no penis touching.
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