So I Got Lost Watching This Season Finale ...

In the interest of beating out tens of thousands of avid bloggers, I am writing a review on the season 4 finale of Lost. Take that, TiVoers! Please note I know less than nothing about the show, everything I know about the plot I got from Wikipedia. Ooh, a hyperlink! Now on with the review.

First off, tonight's finale was in three parts! Which means there was definitely a point were I kind of tuned out and started playing Free Cell. But the plot flowed seamlessly and the story was pretty well-told. To be fair, there were points where the "tension" felt so artificial - see the casket MacGuffin (why did it take 7 minutes to resolve that scene?) - but long-time viewers will be rewarded to find that the writers address at least 1/4 of mystery.

The show definitely loses points on having weird machinery which does random shit. I mean seriously, who uses a "liquid nitrogen tank" to cool down a bomb? Um, temperature bombs? - yeah, not so realistic. And the fact that the island can moved by an ice steering wheel??? Granted, I don't know that much about the show, but I definitely can't be expected to dismiss major logic flaws. There were points where the plot got so paint by numbers. Still, it was a damn good paint job.

Overall, I was entertained. There were kick-ass fight scenes and big explosions and moments that actually sucker-punched me. And Sun's storyline was actually worth following (okay, I had watched a couple episodes of Lost here or there, I had found Sun so boring that I'd have to stop and watch Family Guy reruns, so seeing what happens to her both in the present and the future made me really want to find out who she is and what her plan is). And the finale's conclusion contains an impressive revelation that can really spin-off into some interesting stories. It looks like the writers actually have a long-term plan. I may try to actively catch old episodes of this show.

Well, that probably means nothing and I may have ruined some shit for people, but really, if you were a borderline Lost fan, you'd get a lot out of this storyline. So what do I rate this? I didn't realize I needed a rating scale. 5 out of 7 Cs.

Maybe another stream-of-consciousness review soon...

Sometimes, Facebook Can Brighten My Day

I'm not a big fan of Facebook anymore. I'm sick of all the applications and add-ons. No I don't want to be a pirate or a ninja or a vampire ninja who feeds on zombie pirates and plays Scrabble. I don't want to poke you, punch you, pressure point you.

But, I did find one of the funnier and most quintessential Facebook groups to join. F.I.N.A.L.S. - Fuck, I Never Actually Learned Shit. Story of my college...story of my college...

[NOTE: Yes, I plan on writing a longer (and theoretically more humorous) essay on Facebook, but that is tabled for another time]

APOLLO??!

So, I just finished watching SNL, and I'm waiting for the cheesy start-up music of Apollo to begin so I can change the channel, only to find that there was no music. "It's Showtime At The Apollo" is officially gone. And in its place is some talking head show about the Tribeca Film Festival. I am in shock. I can't believe this.

Now, I kind of want to start a campaign to get it back. Sure the hosting was pretty lousy and some of the Amateur Acts - yeesh, you'd think these guys would have actually listened to their own act once or twice before they decided to embarrass themselves on stage. Too harsh? - whatever. But there were some good break dancers and some nice musical acts. And yeah, it was a show with black people in it. Even if I didn't watch it, I like the idea of it being on the air.

I miss seeing black people on television. So many of the shows on in the past couple of years are tired or insulting poor portrayals of black people. And I will sell my kidneys before I sit through an episode of Tyler Perry's sitcom or Flavor Flav's new show. Television is full of reality bullshit with vapid orange people spending 2 minutes staring blankly into the camera with their mouths slightly open. It's pathetic.

I don't know man. They should bring Apollo back on the air. Yeah, I'm starting a petition. Bring Apollo back to NBC! Bring in better acts. Let me host the thing. Ha, just kidding, or am I? But seriously, we need to bring it back. Blog if you love Apollo. Dude, this Tribeca show is bullshit. I'm going to Channel 11.

What?! Chapelle Show airs on the CW??!! Okay, I, uh, wow. I don't even know what the hell is going on with Standards and Practices anymore.

Yes I Can Act In Online Videos!

Sometimes, people ask me if I do any acting. Here's your chance to find out in this week's edition of Honkies I Tolerate:

Funny Or Die: What's Up With Canadians?

Thanks to Todd Montesi!

EDIT: In case you didn't know, I'm the only guy in the short with a suit on. I play a black field reporter and believe me, that's all you need to know.