You Can Love Obama But Not Be In Love With Obama

I'm definitely glad that Barack Obama is now our president, not just for the historic value, but because I can finally stop getting e-mail for me to "do X for Obama."

Case in point, about 2 weeks ago my co-worker, who is an Obamaniac (or some sort of Obama portmanteau), found an article online about people who were fasting for Obama. The group, cleverly named Fasting For Obama, was comprised of people who refused to eat until Obama was president. And my co-worker was convincing me that that is a great way to show support. Newsflash: no it isn't. Do you want to know how I supported Barack Obama? - by voting for him in the election.

Seriously people, this is a democracy and not a cult. I'm not going to starve for Obama, or get circumsized for Obama, or drink the Kool-Aid for Obama. This isn't Obama's gate; it's an election to be US President. I show my support by walking to the booth and pulling the lever. Bam! Three minutes worth of support. Again that's how democracy works.

I wish people would stop being fanatic converters. Is this just written in our genetic code that whenever humans see a charismatic leader, they feel a need to go to extremes to praise him or her? Why do people have to go "I love XYZ so much that I'm going to be a blind follower/jumpsuit-wearing nutcase?" And the sad part is that quite a few of the people who are Crusaders for Obama probably didn't vote for the election because they caught some illness from Standing In The Arctic Circle for Obama or their organs shut down from doing nothing but Drinking Water for Obama.

All I'm saying is this: Barack Obama is a wonderful person but he is NOT the Messiah. Just because both he and Jesus have hair like wool does not mean Obama is turning water into wine. Calm down Super-Dems. Just. Calm. Down.

Monsoon Working

I just got caught in the downpour, and to be fair I'm not in my nicest clothes, but still I don't want to be wet and working. I got out of the subway station today to prepare for the crosstown sojourn/final leg of my commute. And as soon as I got up the stairs, my umbrella broke! At this point there's an onslaught of rain coming down so hard you'd think God's water broke.

So much for the shower/combing/Axe body spray session. I knew I looked bad off when my co-worker gave me that look like I was a zombie who just crawled out of a swamp. No one actually rocks a wet look like you see in music videos. It's more like the wet dog look. Blergh! And I ran into an ex-co-worker of mine (who I didn't even know worked here) in the elevator. And here I am, looking all shitty in front of her. Double blergh!! A writer once said that life is a series of small humiliations piled on top of each other - and right now I'm kind of hoping that this is the lowest point right now. I need some good karma - STAT!

Funderemployment: Work Irony

While futzing around on the internet today at work, I found an article entitled "7 Easy Ways To Get Fired." Surprisingly, one of the ways wasn't "Wasting 10 minutes reading this list instead of doing your job."

Funderemployment: Day 5

So...I'm temping again. Of which...more to come. But I do hate one aspect of my job. People complain about the annoying paper clip, but you know what's a more annoying office icon? - The Adobe Acrobat guy.




He looks like a super-gay temp with a half-flattop. Honestly, what is it about converting files to PDFs that causes any sane person to leap around and flash jazz hands? Anyone working in an office who ever acts like the guy in this picture should be strait-jacketed and checked into Bellevue. Also is it breezy in this office, what's up with the fly-away tie? Is the Central Air on too high or something?

This is the kind of douchebag who says things like "Someone has a case of the Mondays." Which is a dumb phrase to say. Whenever people say that to me, I just stare at them and say "No, I have a case of the Everydays. I have a case of the I Hate This Jobs. You know what'll cure that? A case of the Huge Severance Packages."

Finally, where is he going? It's like he's the Paul Revere of software. "Lo and behold mighty temps I have found a way to make a document into a pseudo-picture. Rejoice for I have saved you minutes upon minutes of time. Now you don't have to respond to e-mails from people saying 'I can't open this file. Can you save this in another file extension?'" Apparently he's following an arrow somewhere. You know where that arrow's leading to? - A dead end job, that's what.

Calm down, Buttonless McNoZipper. Get a grip, sit at your cubicle and browse Craigslist for better jobs like the rest of us.